Are Your Relationships Making You Fat?

Please allow me to share a quote from fellow eating disorder therapist, Judith Viorst, "In giving up our impossible expectations, we become a lovingly connected self, renouncing ideal visions of perfect friendship, marriage, children, and family life for sweet imperfections of all too human relationships."

I love Judith's point that it is our unreasonable expectations of others that make life so difficult. We see a movie or tv show and "wish" that our husbands were as romantic as Tom Cruise's character was in the movie.......we became disenchanted with our imperfect non-movie life. Reality is the essence of good mental health and good relationships, fantasy is never an appropriate substitute.

So I ask you to consider: Are the relationships in your life making you fat? Do you wish you could change people? Are you able to identify relationships in your life that make you hungry?

In order to identify relationships that might be unhealthy for you and your weight loss, answer the following questions:

• Who are the most important people in my life?
• How often do I see them?
• What are my expectations of them? And them of me?
• How do I eat before, after and during my visits with them?

The answers to these questions will help you start to see how you relate to other people and how that affects your intake of food. Some unhealthy relationships may leave you feeling empty, sad, or angry.

How do you experience these feelings so that you do not overeat? Try:

• Journaling
• Talking them out with a supportive friend or therapist
• Setting limits with people, saying NO
• Nurture yourself so completely that you do not look for that in others or in food.